Ahh... bad fics can make you feel better about yourself!!!
It makes you wonder about humanity and just why certain children are not drowned at birth. Or why, in later years when it becomes apparent that they've inherited the Stupidity Gene, some kind soul doesn't just shoot them and put them out of their misery!
Points in question!
The latest instalment of "My Immortal". A romantic/Angst ridden HP fic where, Draco (here spelt Drako, much to the amusement of the HP fan) cries on cue and has fallen in love with a woman, rather than the obvious Harry Potter.I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.
This line here... worries me. One, because now I wanna pair of suckings... and two... because the idea of a leather thong makes every womanly instinct in me cringe....“Are you okay?” Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.
WHO WEARS BLACK NAIL VARNISH?? I mean, really! It's totally unrealistic!!
(yeah, I know, my real problem with this is the albastard hand... that shit just made me laugh!)
And now we come to a part that tickled me no end. And I'm sure it will you!Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time”
Draco started to cry sadly.
Lets look at this, shall we? The Bint got his name wrong, The Bint also believes Draco would touch her in a sexy manner. This child is deluded! This point is further proven when she says she must go back in time and seduce Volxemort. Now, as we all know, Voldemorts nicer twin brother, Volxmort, is quite gay and happily living in Florida with his gay partner, Rob. She doesn't stand a chance in hell! ... and I don't even wanna touch the whole "Draco cried" bit. That's just plain fantasy.
Pretty soon things start to get hot and heavy.He was hung lik a stallone
So there we have it. We have it on good authority that Draco has the same size cock as Mr Stallone. All the speculation can now be put to rest.We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.
I know it was sad, but when I read that my heart went out to poor Spock. Getting entangled in this web of stupidity and misspelling. I've also decided to buy The Bint a dictionary. Or just send her a link to the one online. That'll be easier for her. I don't think she's ever seen a book before. Her poor brain could implode.
And now for the ending. This is the best ending to any fic EVER!!!
The cliffhanger... the suspense...
“I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….
“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”
It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111
*screams and hides from the wrath of Snope and McGoggle!*
And there you have it. A run down of the worst HP fanfic in the history of the writen word. And here we have a linky, just for you: shit on toast people! SHIT ON TOAST!!
And if you want more of a giggle, read the reviews!! What went wrong?